Huffington Post Accuses Dem Senate Candidate of Having Fun
Campaign journalism in this country tends to have a mean fun-hating streak. The higher stakes the election, the greater a crime it is for candidates to have a history of brushes with fun in their lives. Florida's Senate race is one of the KEY RACES this November, and many outlets that would normally publish articles putting the Democrat in a positive light have made a calculation that realistically, prag-matic-ally, it's a good idea to support independent candidate Charlie Crist in the race, not the billionaire Democrat Jeff Greene. That way, Republican Mario Rubio, most evil of the candidates, is less likely to get elected in the three-cornered-hat race. Simple as that, as far as I can see. And it's the approach I see oozing from Huffington Post's article about how Jeff Greene did typical male billionaire things on his typically Florida-billionaire yacht: Strippers, booze -- and vomit. Vomit, some of the hardest evidence of fun you can find in this fun-starved country. And so, we learn that Jeff Greene's yacht had a reputation of being "vomit caked." Get it? That means he didn't just take his boat out once for fun, he had lots n' lots of parties on it. Lots of his brand of fun. And Greene's shopping trip to Cuba in his yacht is another chance to take a pointless whack at him: "Florida is filled with Cubans who don't exactly taking a liking to American billionaires taking jaunts down to Cuba to go on shopping excursions." It's placebo politics to look at elections like this, and it's part and parcel of this country's war on fun. Greene's idea of fun might not be your idea of fun, but so what. In this context, it doesn't really matter. Would Greene be more likely vote to extend unemployment benefits than Crist? Would a shopping trip to Cuba piss off the average Cuban-American more than Crist saying he didn't support the stimulus bill Washington passed last year? We don't know, because it's finger pointing time at fun-having, yacht-owning, Ukrainian-stripper-hiring Jeff Greene. Wisconsin Senator Herb Kohl is stinking rich, but boring, and therefore not a target. John Kerry is stinking rich, the richest senator in fact.... and he owns a yacht, but he knows how to keep his fun sails trimmed. He knows to keep his yacht controversies over tax haven issues; to try and deprive his own home state $500,000 in revenues for its coffers. That's wrist-slapping material; that's small stuff. That's not "vomit-caked" fun.