Anthropogenic climate change is not an April Fool’s joke. I know it’s a day early, but I hope that lying asshat George Will and the rest of the idiot flat-earthers in the climate change denial crowd feel foolish. That might be the case if they were capable of exhibiting human emotions like shame. But since we know they’ll never admit to being wrong, or ever acknowledge that they deliberately ginned-up the faux *climategate* controversy for purely political purposes. All of us in the reality based community should take this opportunity to point at these fucktwit liars and laugh derisively…

There was truly no there, there…Phil Jones the director of the Climate Research Unit of East Anglia University was exonerated by an inquiry conducted by the British House of Commons. End of story. The science stands. There was no dishonesty found on the part of the researchers, and all the analyses are “consistent and verifiable”. Here is a direct quote from the report: “Even if the data that CRU used were not publicly available—which they mostly are—or the methods not published—which they have been—its published results would still be credible: the results from CRU agree with those drawn from other international data sets; in other words, the analyses have been repeated and the conclusions have been verified.”

Science wins again! Will you even see this story on Faux News? I found the story buried on page ten of my morning paper. When searching the intertubes, I found the story in only a few obscure places, mostly on climate science related sites. Even on the supposedly loony liberal sites like the Huffington Post, the headline was way down on the page and read, ‘Climategate Probe Largely Clears Scientists’ Largely clears? Did we read the same report? You would think the verification of the science and the exoneration of the scientists involved would garner as many headlines as the non-existent scandal did before the Copenhagen climate conference…

Some friendless whack-job living in the apartment above his parents garage threatens House Minority Whip Eric Cantor in a rambling anti-Semitic Youtube video, and rightly gets his crazy ass arrested. Normally such an arrest would be a good thing, but one wonders why he wasn’t arrested much earlier. After all the guy had posted over two thousand similar videos threatening most of the known universe. Including, but not limited to, virtually every Republican and Democratic politician in existence (including the President). What’s wrong with the Fed’s? They should have raided his folks garage immediately after he threatened the life of that adorable pig from the movie Babe…

Yet despite the plethora of video threats, somehow he is arrested only after a video of him threatening Cantor is discovered. Or shall we say – unearthed, most likely by Cantor’s own staff. Cantor lost whatever remaining credibility he had when he claimed a random shooting was directed at his office. Although I am speculating here, I believe it’s clear that he directed his staff to find something – anything to pin an extremist label on liberals. However, from even a cursory viewing of video posted by this deeply disturbed individual, it is painfully obvious that he is neither liberal nor conservative. He is quite simply a fucking nut-job with a god complex crying out for attention…

This incident, like the faux shooting story, is just another transparent attempt by Cantor to create false equivalence between the left and the current actions of the wingnut base of the Republican party. I’m sorry but it is no longer 1969, who are the Left’s armed lunatic fringe? Please point out which Leftist group threatens politicians and plots to overthrow the federal government? Friends of the Earth? PETA? Code Pink? Despite what you hear in the media, such a fringe is virtually non-existent. The year is 2010, and in 2010 it is the Right that uses threats of violence, intimidation, and vandalism to achieve their political goals…

So here is the question of the day. Who is more likely to act on their threats? The obviously insane Norman Leboon, or the Hutaree militia whack-jobs?

The Health Care bill was signed into law today. Sadly it is not the single-payer system I had hoped for, and it leaves the parasitic private health insurance system intact. That leaves me wondering why some conservatives believe it will lead to the end of civilization as we know it. Which is strange because for years now we’ve been told by conservatives that some wacky death-cult with a few thousand followers would be responsible for the destruction of Western civilization.

Times obviously have changed. According to some, the real agent of our demise has now emerged. That being evil godless socialism cleverly disguised as insurance reform. Which we know from watching Glenn Beck will lead directly to political purges, mass executions, farm collectivization, and FEMA-run gulags…

I especially wonder about the admission by House Minority leader John Boner Boehner (R) Tropical Tan. Who stated, “We have failed to listen to America.”  “And we have failed to reflect the will of our constituents.” “And when we fail to reflect that will – we fail ourselves and we fail our country.” I find it truly ironic that he would actually admit that his party has failed to listen to the vast majority of Americans who voted for exactly this kind of change just a short time ago. What? You say that wasn’t an admission of his party’s failure, that his statement was directed at the majority in Congress? Not fucking likely, that narrative, while popular in the media, has no bearing on reality…

I have to give John some credit, acknowledging that his party has a problem is the first step. I don’t think the Republicans are capable of a fearless moral inventory, as that requires morals. But I do know that Representative Boner (dammit, sorry) Boehner likes lists almost as much as crocodile tears, tanning beds and a couple of Rob Roy’s with lunch, so maybe he’ll skip ahead and make a list of all the people the Republican party has harmed and start making amends…

So the Health Care bill might pass this week, and I have a couple of questions about these scrot-lovin’ moran teabaggers and their blissful ignorance of pop culture references. It seems to me that the only thing these folks know how to do on the internets is forward xenophobic e-mails. Sadly, most probably have to ask their grand kids how to use the googles in order to find freerepublic. You would think their grand kids might tell them about the Urban Dictionary after grandma said she was leaving for DC to teabag the liberals with her buddy Glenn Beck…

Judging by the home-made signs found at their rallies, my first question is, are all these racist wingnuts semi-literate?

My second question is, do these people have jobs? Or is someone paying them to protest stuff they’ll eventually end up benefiting from?

Sorry, I thought I was done. But I also want to know why these folks are on teevee all the time with their angry pickets and unintentionally ironic signs? They couldn’t be more than a tiny fraction of the population, yet they are so prominently featured one might believe the opposite was true? And finally, how can an adult become more unhinged than a petulant fourteen-year-old banned from the xbox?

Okay, maybe one more question. How many of these folks protesting evil socialist entitlements that will destroy America are currently collecting social security/medicare and/or medicaid/unemployment benefits?

I nearly forgot, I also have a question for the “stunning” Steve King of Iowa. What in the fuck does the phrase “nationalizing our liberty” even mean? That makes about as much sense as Iowa voters thinking you would be a good representative…

Does anyone besides me think it’s terribly ironic that insipid reactionary-radio shock-jock Rush Limpdick vowed that he will move to Costa Rica if health care reform passes? Did he choose Costa Rica because he knows he will have access to a quality government run health care system? Or is he seriously just a clueless dipshit?

Funny, you would think that he would stay away from a socialist hellhole like Costa Rica and move to one of those Randian utopias. You know, those places where the market’s invisible hand provides you with a reasonably priced reach-around and the streets are paved with enlightened self-interest. Where exactly is this conservative promised land you ask? Oh I forgot, it doesn’t fucking exist…

Sorry Rush, maybe if you weren’t so frightened by the scary Muslims you could move to Somalia, that’s about as close as you can get to the small government libertarian fantasy land you advocate daily on your little chat show. What? Not enough championship golf courses you say? That may be true, however I’m sure there are enough child prostitutes to keep your Viagra-fueled benders going indefinitely…

Move over Arizona, now you have some serious competition for national laughing-stock. Instead of demanding to see a birth certificate readily available on the mighty interwebs, the South Dakota state legislature passed a bill attempting to bring what they comically refer to as balance to the teaching of climate change in the state’s public schools. I’m just guessing here but maybe they believe that some terribly evil wizard/climatologist in cahoots with the New World Order turned all the state’s children into newts…not to worry, they got better. As another writer noted, the irony of the legislature further politicizing what they deem to be a political, not a scientific issue, appears to be completely lost on the representatives of this intellect-forsaken backwater.

The language of the bill which originally included this paragraph, “That there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect [sic] world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative;” points out the apparent systemic failure of South Dakota’s public schools, because if the state’s legislature is mostly made up of products of said system. It tells us one of two things, either they have not been teaching science in South Dakota’s schools for a long time, or the entire state legislature desperately needs a remedial science class. Seriously, astrological? Are they fucking kidding? Is thermological even a word? Is this the work of an elected legislative body in 2010, or is this a Papal edict denouncing the heresies of Galileo circa 1610?

This is the equivalent of teaching that idiotic re-branding of creationism known as Intelligent Design in a science class. In other words teaching something that has no basis in science. This law is just another in a long line of tragic setbacks to the cause of science education in America’s schools. What’s next for the children of South Dakota – Witch trials? Textbook burnings? Even with an amended version of the law that removed the most scientifically egregious passages, it remains a codification of the teaching of irrationality in the face of the overwhelming scientific evidence for anthropogenic climate change…